Auntie Knows Best

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Songs of the Humpback Whale by Jodi Picoult is one hell of a confusing book. A story of Jane who leaves her oceanographer husband Oliver and takes her 15 year old daughter Rebecca with her. Rebecca nearly died in a plane crash when she was 5 years old and part of this story is about them reliving this experience. The reason this book is so confusing is that it is told through 5 narrators, and to make it even more confusing Rebecca tells the story back to front! I usually really like Picoult’s novels, but it is clear that this is an early example of her writings, but I have to say it isn’t very good and is terribly confusing. Not worth the effort to be honest!

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Shape of Snakes by Minette Walters is a reasonable enough offering. In the 70’s Mrs Ranelagh finds her neighbour “Mad Annie” battered and lying in the gutter. The police pass it off as her dying after being hit by a lorry when she was drunk but Mrs Ranelagh is convinced that she has been murdered, and prior to her death that she was robbed. The book covers twenty years with letters and articles showing how she has reached these conclusions. It was an OK book but reasonably difficult to feel any sympathy for the lead character who shows a great deal of sympathy for Mad Annie, but not very much for her husband who has put up with her all these years.

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They Also Serve by Hilary Green was a rather protracted book, for a couple of reasons. I listened to it on CD, but it took me a long time to get through it because I was driving Up North and then went home for Christmas and didn’t carry on listening until the New Year. Secondly, it is a rather protracted book in terms of the story. Set in the Second World War it features several characters who were previously involved in the theater, whether as dancers, singers or mucisians. When war hits and they are fored to sign up this book follows their separate journeys, and how it affects their relationships with each other. Quite a nice book and easy enough to listen to with long gaps in between.

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Titanic Survivor: Memoirs of Violet Jessop Stewardess is a fascinating book. Violet was born on 2 October 1887 in Argentina to Irish immigrant parents. She survived several childhood illnesses and went on to be a stewardess on some of the most famous ships in the world, including the Titanic. She survived three sinkings and her memoirs offer a fascinating account of life at sea. I really enjoyed this, the Titanic episode is a relatively small part of the book but nonetheless if you are interested in boats and life at sea then this would definitely be of interest.

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The Falls by Ian Rankin is a cracking John Rebus book. A young female student goes missing in Edinburgh, and what initially seems to be a runaway take a somewhat darker tone when some strange miniature coffins are found which seem to be reminiscent of some murders from many years ago. Add to the that the discovery that the missing student was playing an online game with a Quizmaster and you get an excellent novel with a strong plot and even stronger characters.

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Death of a Blue Movie Star by Jeffrey Deaver is about a wannabe filmaker called Rune. When a local porn theatre is bombed she sets out to make a film about a porn artist. Inevitably she ends up dead and Rune spends her time putting herself in danger to try and get to the bottom of the story. Not a bad read, but not one of Deaver’s best.

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Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman’s Search for Everything by Elizabeth Noble is an audio book I have had in the car.

Journalist Elizabeth Gilbert went through a messay divrce which left her emotionally wrecked. As a result she left her job and set out to travel for one year, spending 4 months in Rome in Italy (Eat), 4 months in India at an Ashram (Pray) and 4 months in Bali in Indonesia (Love). Her hope was that she would find some sort of balance in her life and a means to be happy again. I laughed throughout this book, especially at the stories of Italy. Her love of food was amazing and she made me want to eat pasta and pizza and lots of it!

This book made me laugh and made me think. A lot. One of the nicest things about this storybook is that it is read by the author. The inflections she puts on words and the stories makes it all seem more real, and more… authentic. (Listening to her read this book also really reminded me of my friend Peterson and that made me smile as well!!!) Her take on theology and God fascinated me and Ioved it when she said that when asked what sort of God she believed in she described him as a ‘Magnificent God’. Her pursuit of solitude and reconciliation with her past and her future was both comforting and challenging.

I love this book. Also, I was listening to this when I was driving back after being at our new house for the weekend. Something about the pursuit of a new future really rang true with me and every time I listened to her words I felt a new song starting in me too.

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Breakfast With Tiffany: An Uncle’s memoir by Edwin John Wintle is a lovely memoir. Forty-something gay New Yorker Eddie, or Uncle Eddie as he becomes known is asked to take on Tiffany, his 13-year-old wayward niece who has been creating havoc at home. He agrees readily but the reality of taking on a teenager is much more challenging than he realises.

This is a truly lovely story of a the relationship between Ed and Tiffany. The way he handles her tantrums are at times completely drama-queen and over the top and yet the love he demonstrates for her her is touching and the meaning Tiffany provides to his life is utterly charming. I loved this book. It kind of reminded me of my friend Jessica when she totally went of the rails and moved in with her grandparents, and I also loved it because it seemed really real.

Nice read. It made me happy.

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Le it Bleed by Ian Rankin is a John Rebus novel. Now, usually I love the Rebus novels, but this one was sloooow. Lots about Police and political corruption, all of which made a slightly disappointing read. Oh well…. NEXT!!!

WARNING – THIS IS A VERY LONG POST!!!!!

This week has been a very strange one in the grand scheme of things. It has been a week of “lasts” and goodbyes.

It was my last Sunday at St Marks in Colney Heath, my last church small group (a group which is called “Bernard” and when I asked why the response was “because it is a good name”. We had a curry on that evening and they presented me with a gift of spices and things for curry and a rice cooker. My last Pilates class, some of which I have been in class with for over 5 years.

Most importantly though today was my last day at work. Since 17 September 2001 I have been employed as a Specialist Social Worker at an NHS Trust in a Community Drug and Alcohol Team. I had made huge efforts to keep myself busy all week, finishing off with clients, writing up their notes, handing them over to their new key worker with prescriptions completed up to the end of March, and generally making sure they will be ok. Today however was officially my last day and I had done all that I needed to do. My work was complete and I went on a long round of goodbyes to people I worked with. I described this as feeling like Cher’s World Farewell Tour – it seemed never ending.

I am not sure how I feel about leaving. In some way I feel relieved. The job was getting more paperwork and statistics driven and it was becoming very political. My time with my clients and the way I was able to work with them was being squeezed and I was not able to be as creative as a liked. I wanted the chance to be able to work with people in whatever was was successful to their ongoing recovery, but that wasn’t possible as things were statistics driven. My frustrations were mirrored by my clients, and it was only by working overtime to do the paperwork that I was able to fit in any time with them at all. I used to deliver substance misuse training to child protection and health professionals, but that stopped about 18 months ago. I felt de-skilled and demoralised and yet, in many ways, I loved my job.

My clients could be absolute pains in the backside. They were often difficult and challenging, but also they were resilient, funny and honest. Their lives regularly put any Eastenders storyline to shame and if their histories had been written down people would have accused them of embellishing the stories. However, what I have realised over the last couple of weeks is that many of these clients have such a hard time attaching to and relating to people and the loss of a drug worker who may have worked with them for years cannot be underestimated. I did laugh though, when one client who has really put me through my paces over the years, describing me as “A fucking pain in the arse” told me that I was the best drug worker she ever had. I gently reminded her that she very eloquently told me in August last year that she hated me and never wanted to see me again. At this she laughed, and said “yeah, but you were one of the few people who didn’t disappear when I spoke to you like that. I knew I was out of order, but I knew that you would always look out for me and be honest with me.”… and then she laughed again and said “I still think you are a fucking pain in the arse”. That comment, followed by a genuine hug meant more to me than completing any set of statistics.

My colleagues could almost be as much of a pain in the backside as my clients. Over the years I have come to realise that most people who work in drug and alcohol work have big personalities, characters and attitudes. As a result confrontation is a part of the work. We confront, argue and challenge each other as much as we do with the clients. Substance misuse work seems to take a certain type of person. I still believe you can teach people the theories of drug and alcohol work, ways of working with people, and the technicalities and skills they need to know. What you can’t teach them is the character they need to cope with this sort of work. It takes a special sort of person, and the team I worked for was comprised of some amazingly talented and funny people. I will especially miss my colleague Jo, who started work a week after I did. We were both very green and inexperienced and we made some monumental cock-ups over the years, but I learnt a lot of medical stuff from her as a nurse, and I know that she learnt a lot from me with regard to social care and intervention. I will also miss my colleague Nuala. Quite simply a brilliant alcohol nurse who totally knew her stuff.

Working with doctors always brings real challenges. They are difficult at times, but you just have to learn how to handle them!!! It’s nearly always possible to get them to do what you want if they think it is their idea in the first place!!! I had the pleasure and privilege of working with Professor Fabrizio Schifano. A brilliant consultant psychiatrist who not only knew his stuff, but was incredibly personable. One of the things I am most sad about it that the team is gradually being eroded by poor management and the recruitment of practitioners with no background of either social work or nursing. The services are much poorer for this and the lack of experience is evident when dealing with complex cases.

I am sad, in so many ways, and yet I still feel like it is not quite real. Like I am going on holiday and I will come back to my job in a couple of weeks. The decision to move on is so clearly the right one, and yet I feel as though a huge chapter of my life is ending. I hope that I will be able to find another job in Yorkshire in which I will be able to be so fulfilled. I am excited, as well as being a bit anxious.

I owe an enormous debt of gratitude to my colleagues and clients. They have taught me so much and I will miss them.

This made me giggle. Well done Dave!!!

Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find more cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.

This weekend has been really hectic because it is my last weekend in Hertfordshire.

One Friday night I went out for pizza with my colleagues after work and then a bunch of other people came to meet us in the pub. Also The Mister arrived on the train so it was a chance for him to meet some of the people I have been working with over the last few years.

On Saturday we went into London and paid a visit to the The Old Operating Theatre and Herb Garret Museum in London. It is a fascinating place and is an old operating theatre which is found in the roof space of a Baroque church. The theatre pre-dates Lister and his antiseptic surgery techniques and this theatre must have seen some truly horrifying amputations and other types of surgery, many of which would have been done without, or with limited, anesthetics. There are some pretty gruesome saws and knives on show too. Fortunately I find this stuff really interesting, although I kept wondering what stories the walls of the theatre would tell us if they could.

After the museum we took a long walk along the Southbank passed the Golden Hinde and the Festival Hall, across the bridge by Big Ben and the Houses fo Parliament and then up to Buckingham Palace. Al lovely walk, although it started getting chilly as the sun went down. We then went to The Jugged Hare in Pimlico for a meet with some people from The Ship of Fools. An excellent meet with some old friends and some good food and wine. The Jugged Hare is well-known for it’s pies and The Mister and I tired one of their tasting plates – 5 small pies with some mash and peas. Yum!!!

On Sunday, The Mister and I went to church where they prayed for us as we move on. I have to admit though that I was so tired that I kept falling asleep during the sermon!!! After that we went out for lunch with some of my wonderful friends. Now, I am sitting at home, watching The Mister play on the Wii Fit. In a short few minutes I will have to drive him to the train station. Thankfully this is the last time that we will have to do the whole Sunday evening travelling thing! Next week I will be up in Yorkshire, the weekend after that we will be in Guernsey and the weekend after that I will have moved.

I am very much looking forward to reclaiming my Sunday evenings!!!!

Well the weekend was hectic. I drove up to Leeds on friday afternoon and picked The Mister up so that we could go and get the keys to our new rented house. It was very exciting going into our new house, partly because we had only seen it for about 10 minutes and I wondered whether we would like it as much.

It was fab! So, we unpacked my car and went to get a Chinese. Basically for the next few weeks The Mister is camping out there. He has a camping mattress, chairs and table and lots and lots and lots of books. Other than that there is very little in the house as most of the furniture is in my flat! Having said that I am sure he will be fine. The most trying bit for him will be that he doesn’t have internet access!

Driving back to my flat this time was really odd. It was a bit like leaving one home to go back to another. I am starting to feel like I am separating out from my life in Hatfield ready to start my life in Yorkshire.

It’s a good thing, but it is quite strange.

Well life is zooming on at a cracking pace and lots seems to be happening, it’s just all little bits. After being poorly last week it is a relief to get back to feeling somewhat human.

We have found a house to rent Oop North and we should be getting the keys this weekend. We are going to move The Mister in where he is going to camp out for the next few weeks. I feel a little guilty that he will only have the basics up there for a couple of weeks (not even any broadband!) but at the same time it isn’t for long. I have been packing up some stuff to take up there with me at the weekend… think I will include the camping chairs so he has something to sit on!

My flat is currently on the market and it was really quiet before Christmas, but I had a viewing on Saturday and the couple want to come back and see it tomorrow. I am fingers (and everything else!) crossed that I might get an offer on it. It would really be a boost if the process was at least started before I move.

As for jobs, well I haven’t found a job yet, but I intend to have a few weeks before moving and getting married. It will give me the chance to unpack and sort the house out so that when we get back from honeymoon the house is all in order. I have registered with an agency, and the woman from there phoned me today to check that I will be looking for jobs and she was really positive about the vacancies they have coming in at the moment. She seemed to be pretty hopeful that they would be able to find me either a temporary or a permanent position fairly soon after I am ready to start work.

In other news, the wedding invitations that I made have gone out… The first picture is of an individual card, and the second one is of all the invitations drying on the bookcase!!!

I had to take a little walk up to the shops today and couldn’t resist taking some photos of the snow. It is just so beautiful!!!

The last photo is what I see when I am sitting on my sofa. You can see how much of the windows are covered which makes my flat feel quiet and rather womb-like!

Well I woke up at 6.30am and phoned in work and left a message on the answer phone to say I wasn’t going in because I was still poorly. There was a light smattering of snow, my velux window were still clear and I could see out of them. I went back to bed and woke up at 10am feeling like I was in a cocoon because the velux windows were totally covered with snow. When it is like this is makes my house feel incredibly quiet. I couldn’t hear the main road because obviously there aren’t many cars going down it. It is just stunning out there. Sparkly and white and clean. I still love snow, maybe it is an islander thing because we didn’t have snow very often when I was growing up. Despite having a streaming cold I intend to wrap up warm and go for a walk. At least I won’t be sneezing over people!

This is the view from my lounge window.

Well I am already slacking a little bit on the blogging front, but that is partly because I didn’t have much internet access over the New Year.

The Mister and I spent a very pleasant few days up in Stockton-on-Tees with our friends Tom, Anne and their children Matthew, Andrew and latest delivery Mark. It was lovely to be with people with whom we could just relax and chill out and that was exactly what we got. New Year’s Eve was spent drinking wine and a eating curry and watching TV, oh and watching the big flurries of snow outside. One New Year’s Day The Mister, Tom and I took Matthew and Andrew out to the park where there was just enough snow to go tobogganing. Lovely indeed.

So, all that was followed by a long drive back to Hertfordshire. I have to go back to work and I really don’t want to, but I guess I only have a few weeks left now (both Yay! and eek!!)