Oh :(

There are a lovely few days every month when I think I might, maybe, possibly, hopefully, be pregnant. I dream about what it will be like to have a bouncing baby in my arms. Then there is the realisation that once again I am not pregnant. Every month I feel sad and utterly utterly disappointed. Every month I am reminded that I have failed and that I have to wait another month.

I am finding it harder and harder to deal with the emotions of trying to conceive. Something that we hoped would be straightforward has become a cycle of charting and hoping. Don’t get me wrong, things are still fun… heheh …. but that disappointment every single month is almost too hard.

Of course all of this is made even more difficult by the fact that other people’s lives go on…. photos on Facebook of other people’s babies and children and photos of people blooming during their pregnancies. It’s a constant reminder of that great unattainable dream.

8 thoughts on “Oh :(

  1. *hugs* and sympathy because I do know what its like, but also *cross face* because, however it feels like, you (plural, not singular) have not “failed”.

  2. 🙁 Big hugs to you, auntie. I promise I won’t post picture of my pregnant self on FB anytime soon (You’re more likely than me to conceive ;-)).

  3. Oh sweetie. All the hugs in the world to you. Thank you so much for sharing this here. It means we can pray for you. Take it from the horses mouth that it makes a huge difference. Anything I can do to help, do let me know. lots of love Em xx

  4. Sorry to hear this. It is so hard. I had a small taste of this when we married as he had had a vasectomy and, although it was reversed, we were told we had about a 10% chance of conceiving. After seven months of the hoping and sadness you describe I got the letter with the date of an appointment at the fertility clinic. I thought to myself that it really wasn’t going to happen naturally and I wouldn’t worry until we had had the appointment. I got pregnant four months later, my period was less than a week late when we turned up for the appointment!

    It does take time to get pregnant, worrying about it makes it all worse, not that that helps people stop worrying!

    I spent less than a year hoping and being disappointed – but I still remember how difficult and painful it was, so – I do feel for you.

  5. ((Auntie Doris))

    Love and prayers from Down Under. And as ferijen wrote: you have no failed. Be kind to yourself: you are a great person.

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