There are a lovely few days every month when I think I might, maybe, possibly, hopefully, be pregnant. I dream about what it will be like to have a bouncing baby in my arms. Then there is the realisation that once again I am not pregnant. Every month I feel sad and utterly utterly disappointed. Every month I am reminded that I have failed and that I have to wait another month.
I am finding it harder and harder to deal with the emotions of trying to conceive. Something that we hoped would be straightforward has become a cycle of charting and hoping. Don’t get me wrong, things are still fun… heheh …. but that disappointment every single month is almost too hard.
Of course all of this is made even more difficult by the fact that other people’s lives go on…. photos on Facebook of other people’s babies and children and photos of people blooming during their pregnancies. It’s a constant reminder of that great unattainable dream.