I am absolutely knackered tonight so this will be just a quick one.
Today I was at my Mum and Dad’s house and Dad had a delivery. The box became a boat and Eden and Barnabas went rowing and there was lots of squealing when they were trying to avoid the imaginary crocodiles.
I love seeing children using their imaginations and enjoying creative play!
I arrived home from work today to be greeted by this….
Mum’s words were “Can you tell the grandchildren have been to visit?”
Er… yes! The dead giveaway are the toys thrown all over the floor and Mum’s resigned and vacant look!
There are a lovely few days every month when I think I might, maybe, possibly, hopefully, be pregnant. I dream about what it will be like to have a bouncing baby in my arms. Then there is the realisation that once again I am not pregnant. Every month I feel sad and utterly utterly disappointed. Every month I am reminded that I have failed and that I have to wait another month.
I am finding it harder and harder to deal with the emotions of trying to conceive. Something that we hoped would be straightforward has become a cycle of charting and hoping. Don’t get me wrong, things are still fun… heheh …. but that disappointment every single month is almost too hard.
Of course all of this is made even more difficult by the fact that other people’s lives go on…. photos on Facebook of other people’s babies and children and photos of people blooming during their pregnancies. It’s a constant reminder of that great unattainable dream.
Well our lovely nephew Barnabas is one year old today. He is so gorgeous and a real little pickle and I miss him loads.
The pain of not having children certainly hasn’t receded with him coming along, in fact in many ways it has made that pain more intense and more pronounced as I can see just what I am missing out on. Not knowing if we will ever get that experience is pretty hard to deal with. However, I certainly wouldn’t miss out on having Barnabas around. he is a complete joy and great fun and I can’t wait to see him again!!
We bought Barnabas a big present but I couldn’t resist making him something (boys are so hard to make for!) so I made him some little aprons which I thought he might be able to use when he is painting or colouring or cooking with Granny. Here’s a pic!
Today I phoned birdie whilst I was driving to work (hands-free so I was driving safely as usual!) and her 3-year olf, The Groover answered the phone. I had a particularly entertaining conversation with him which went something like this…
Me: Hello Groover. It’s Auntie Doris.
The Groover: Where’s your cat?
Me: My cat is at home asleep on my bed?
TG: Where are you?
Me: I am in my car.
Me: I am driving to work.
… short pause…
Exactly! A question I ask myself on a regular basis… summed up so beautifully by a 3-year-old.