Auntie Knows Best

Well 2009 has been a year of excitement and suprises, as well as a few sad bits along the way.

Of course the biggest change for me is that The Mister and I lasted this year too and rather happily he proposed in August. It is all very exciting and I am so happy that I have finally found someone who I can share life with. My family all seem to think he is quite a brave man and he is taking on quite a lot. In many ways he is, but he is brave and strong so I think he will manage just fine!!! I have realised now that waiting for the right man to come along has absolutely been the best thing and I am very happy.

The other major change this year is that in July my sister had a gorgeous baby called Barnabas. He is absolutely gorgeous and smiley and yet it is still quite a difficult one for me to deal with. I love him to pieces, and spending time with him this year has been a surprising pleasure, and yet there is always the thought in the back of my head of ‘I wonder if it will ever happen to me?’. I know it is impossible to know but it is still hard at times. Having said that, I wouldn’t be without him, and largely because of him my relationship with my sister has improved. I know that I have been out of order with her over the past couple of years, mainly because of my sadness at her happiness, but I hope that we will now be able to move forward. Barnabas is gorgeous and I look forward to getting to know him even better and leading him astray when he is older!!!

The saddest bit of the year was that my lovely Grandpadied in October. I missed him especially at Christmas when he was no longer there telling terribly jokes and giving his glorious and honest smile at his family. His love and prayers for his children and grandchildren will be missed, but the pleasure of knowing that he is safe in the arms of Jesus is a treasure I wouldn’t change to have his frail, old and sick body back.

2010 looks like it is going to bring even more major changes to my life, as well as The Mister’s life. At the end of January I will be leaving the job I have been in since 2001. I have to admit that I am thoroughly looking forward to leaving as the bureacracy and paperwork has started to really get me down. On the other hand, I have worked hard in this job and I have, to a certain extent, been able to shape the role around my interests. It is daunting to be leaving a job which has given me so much security and yet it is definitely the right time to leave. In February I will be moving up to Leeds into a little rented house that we managed to find yesterday. It is a huge move, both in terms of distance, but also emotionally. I have been very happy in my little flat and moving somewhere where I don’t know many people is both scary and exciting. Of course this is all leading up to the major event of our wedding in Guernsey on 3 April 2010. I am so excited (plus a little bit overwhelmed) that we will be getting married on Easter Saturday. Who would have thought this time last year that we would be planning our wedding? Plans are going well and it would seem that everything is vaguely under control. I just have to get the house move out of the way before I can really start enjoying all the planning around it.

So, to anyone and everyone who takes the time to read and comment on this blog, a big thankyou. I hope that you will stay with me through 2010 and I promise to try and blog more regularly. I have been a bit rubbish this year, largely because life has been so busy but I will try better (sounds a bit like my school reports really!!)

So, a Happy New Year to everyone and I hope 2010 brings more joy and excitement to us all.

Well we have had a really nice couple of days. Yesterday was spent with my sister, brother-in-law, my nephew Barnabas and my parents. It was really nice to have a relatively chilled out Christmas days. For many years Christmas days were a triumph of stamina over sanity. We would eat lunch and then head up to Gran’s where we would open many more presents and eat a ridiculous amount of food. Times have changed but things are still good. I have to say that one of the most amusing things was seeing how delighted my Dad was with the present The Mister and I bought for him. He received a garden gnome in Tottenham Hotspur kit… Barnabas also seemed to like it!!!

Boxing Day morning was spent by a quick visit to the beach to watch the insane people (including The Mister) going in for a charity swim. This year’s theme was Dicken’s, so there were many Victorian style swimming costumes. As always the atmosphere was great fun and it was nice to catch up with a lot of people we know. This evening we met up with Dad’s side of the family. We ate food and played rubbish board games with vast amounts of cheating. Somehow we all seem unable to play these games without trying to cheat, and we are all terribly competitive. I always think it must be quite a shock for new members to the family, such as The Mister and my cousin’s girlfriend. Inevitably they cope fine, and sometimes they even come back for the next Christmas!

So, a good Christmas all round. Much happiness, and yet for me there was still moments of sadness when I see my sister with my nephew. It is hard not to wish that for myself, and yet she is a good Mum and I think she is doing a brilliant job. I hope one day I get to have those experiences, but you just never know. So happiness, tempered with a little envy, but all in all a fab couple of days.

Here are pictures for you…. (yeah alright I know there are quite a few of Barnabas but he is so very very cute!!!)

Having arrived back safely on the mainland today from my unexpected expected trip back to Guernsey, once again I am forced to reflect on what an amazing family I have and how fortunate I am. So often I take them for granted, particularly as I see more of my Mum’s side of the family than Dad’s.

For the first time in ages I have realised what a privilege it is to have both sides of the fmaily who are so diverse and interesting, as well as supportive and loving. Partly this was due to the fact that we were all together to celebrate the life of my lovely Grandpa, but what was also overwhelming was the delight from everyone about our engagement an the excitement from them about our forthcoming wedding. This is one of the reasons that I want to get married in Guernsey. My friends are incredibly important to me but it is my family who have helped to shape me into the person I am today. My friends have really done some of the icing on the cake, but it is my family who baked the cake in the first place (admittedly it is probably a fruit cake!). They have provided a strong, loving and challenging foundation for me and they have continued to love me despite my faults and when I have let them down.

Uncle John gave a lovely tribute at Grandpa’s funeral, and Dad gave me a transcript of what he said. This little bit really stuck in my mind…

“Our father had a very simple faith. The secret of his faith was also very simple He always felt he was a vulnerable human being. He knew that he could not serve God in his own strength. So every morning he had a time of quiet devotion, reading a passage from scripture, contemplating its truths and praying. We as children wish to thank our parents for their constant devotion to God and their Godly example during our formative years. They were both ordinary, humble Christians with human frailties that we human beings all share. We thank God for giving us the parents he did, in the same way as they themselves thanks God for us children. We thanks Dad and Mary for praying for all of us individually by name every day for so many decades. Only eternity will reveal the effectiveness of those prayers. Our parents’ constant prayer, and that of Mary too, was that we children and all our offspring would follow Christ so that when we leave this earth we shall be together in heaven and that family circle will not be broken.”

When I consider this as my family heritage I realise more than ever just how privileged I am. I also think of my lovely Gran Nora and include her in this tribute along with my Grandpa who died when I was 9 years old. I have been lucky enough to have had grandparents and parents who have continually prayed for me. What an amazing background to have.

Today has been a wonderful day, which might seem a little strange as it has been Grandpa’s funeral. However, this has been a chance for us to celebrate the life of a truly extraordinary man who has influenced all our lives.

We started with the interment, which was great as it kind of got the really visibly sad bit out of the way, before moving onto church for a thanksgiving service. Grandma had chosen a gorgeous white cross with red roses as the floral tribute. Mum told me that it was symbolic. The three red roses in the middle represented Grandpa, his first wife Grandma Anita and his second wife Grandma Mary. The four red roses in each corner of the cross represent the four children. I thought that was lovely!

Grandpa had chosen all his own readings and his hymns which wereOh, for a Thousand Tongues to Sing, Jesus, Thy Blood and Righteousness, Jesus, the Name High Over All and How Sweet the Name of Jesus Sounds. The singing was magnificent and it was so nice to hear these lovely hymns sung properly. My Uncle John gave a lovely tribute to Grandpa and I learnt lots of things I didn’t know already. I knew that Grandma and Grandpa had lots of missionaries to stay, but I hadn’t realised that one of them was Gladys Aylward which I thought was quite cool. Grandpa was very committed to supporting people who were serving God overseas, as well as being a founding member of the The Gideons. It was a very lovely tribute, and very fitting. My cousin Tim also read the following poem, which Grandpa gave out to everyone he could…

I Met God in the Morning by Ralph Cushman

I met God in the morning
When my day was at its best.
And his presence came like sunrise:
Like a glory in my breast.
All day long the presence lingered,
All day long he stayed with me;
And we sailed in perfect calmness
O’er very troubled sea.
Other ships were blown and battered,
Other ships were sore distressed;
But the winds that seemed to drive them,
Brought to us rest and peace.
Then I thought of other mornings
With a keen remorse of mind,
When I too had loosed the moorings:
With the presence left behind.
So I think I know the secret
Learned from nay a troubled way:
You must seek him in the morning
If you want him through the day.

I met God in the morning
when the world was still.
I met God in the morning
when I sought his will.
I met God in the morning
when I knelt to pray.
I met God in the morning
and he stayed with me all day.

After the service we went to Les Cotils for afternoon tea. It was lovely that so many people came and the food was fantastic. It was also rather convenient as this is where we are going to have our wedding reception so I got to test out the food, as well as have a little look around the place.

So, all in all, a sad day, but not a really sad day. It was good to celebrate the life of my lovely Grandpa, but as we say in Guernsey patois, a la perchoine… which means until we meet again because I am very, very sure that we will meet again in heaven.

So, here are a few photos for you to peruse (there are a few more on Flickr if you want to click through from one of these pictures)…

I have had a brilliant couple of weeks… but it has been pretty hectic. So, here is a quick run down.

PART 1
Firstly The Mister and I flew to Guernsey for my cousin Matthew’s wedding. It was in the most beautiful venue, on top of the cliff and the weather was lovely. The bride looked wonderful and had some fab bridesmaids, and the bridegroom and his 7 best men all looked very dashing in their feature hats. The evening do featured both the bride and the bridegroom’s bands and a marvellous time was had by all.

I love my family. They certainly know how to have a good time and this wedding was a classic example of a good time being had by all!

(for more pics click on this one to go to flickr)
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PART 2
After flying back from Guernsey The Mister and I drove up to Wales to spend some time camping with friends and their two boys, as well as being close enough to spend some time with birdie and family.

We had a fabulous few days, even though the weather was rather too blustery at times and made the tents rock in a rather alarming manner in the middle of the night. It was fab to spend some time with birdie, especially as I hadn’t met her daughter yet which was pretty appalling as she is over a year old now The Groover seriously kept me entertained. I don’t know how mr and mrs birdie do it. He is so full of beans he exhausting, but I adore him, he is such fun!!

We also went to Hay-on-Wye for the day and spent loads of time wandering around bookshops (this is probably The Mister’s favourite activity of all time) as well as eating the most fabulous ice-cream sundaes.

A lovely few days and a much needed rest in the middle of the madness.
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PART 3
Greenbelt!!! Once again we made the annual pilgramage to Cheltenham racecourse to wander aimlessly, listen to talks and music and to spend time sitting in the Tiny Tea Tent or the Beer Tent, chatting with old friends and watching the world go by. In some ways it was a little like returning to the scene of the crime as The Mister and I got together in the Beer Tent last year (photograpic evidence!!!) It was very different doing Greenbelt as part of a couple for the first time. I loved it in so many ways, but it also meant I had to be not so selfish. I guess the nice thing was wandering off to do our own things and then meeting up later. Fabulous stuff.

Highlights for me were seeing Ockham’s Razor which were an aerial gymnastic/circus act. It was absolutely fantastic and well worth seeing!!! The other highlight had to be Beer and Hymns. I love this event so much. The singing is quite divine, the beer is good, and in general people take part in this event with a huge amount of fun, but also a great deal of sincerity. I have never doubted that the people who go to B&H’s really mean what they sing, and in some way it is way more liberating than church. Singing at the top of your voice with several hundred other people is a wonderful experience.

Greenbelt is an amazing place. So much to see and hear, so many friends to pass the time of day with and so much time to think, and be and enjoy.

After having had a shitty week last week, I really needed a top weekend to cheer me up… and I got it.

On Saturday The Mister and I went to Waddington Interneational Airshow. It was fab, mainly because the weather was absolutely glorious and I got to see The Red Arrows which was exciting. Having said that, it was pretty knackering and I ended up nearly dropping off to sleep when I was driving later.

After that we drove up to Beverley for my aunt and uncle’s leaving party. My uncle is a vicar at Beverley Minster but he is leaving, with my aunt, to go to Argentina where he has been appointed as a Suffragan Bishop to the indigenous people (i.e. the Indians) in the northern part of the country. So, they had a lovely leaving service in the Minster and then a fabulous leaving party afterwards. They also had a band called Mambo Jambo which was such fun, especially as the acoustics in the Minster are so wonderful.

Anyway, if you think of it, please pray for my aunt and uncle Cath and Nick, and their children who are staying in the UK… in fact the youngest is going to live with my parents. Heh… a teenager in the house again. God works in mysterious ways!!!

Ps) If you are interested Uncle Nick’s blog can be found here.

Pps) Some pics from the weekend…

… my nephew. My heart aches.

(is it rather significant that this is post number 666 on this blog????!!!!)

I can’t believe that it is a year ago today since Gran Nora died.

Time seems to have zoomed passed over the last year and suddenly I am looking back and wondering where it has all gone. Time certainly is a healer and I no longer feel quite so keenly the loss of my lovely Gran. Of course, being on the mainland means that I can almost pretend she is still in Guernsey living in her hill-top house and sitting in her chair looking out at the sea. In reality I know that she is gone and the house has been sold.

I still have moments when I wish I could talk to her one last time, especially as the last time I saw her I was really drunk and I was trying to survive my sister’s wedding. On that day though I saw Gran at the church (before I was too drunk!) and I knelt on the floor next to her seat and rested my head in her lap and cried. She just stroked my hair and told me that she loved me. These days it is one of the most powerful images of my Gran that I can draw to mind and it still makes me cry.

Gran wasn’t a rolling around the floor, playing with her grandchildren sort of Gran, but, she was always interested, always wanted to know what was going on and would have done anything to make her children and grandchildren happy.

She loved playing Scrabble, even if she was really rather rubbish at the end and would fall asleep in the middle of her go whilst holding her letters in her hand. She would then make a jerky movement and spill all her letters into her skirt, before picking them up to do it all again.

I loved her for the fact that she would tell the same old war stories time and time again, but she seemed to have different grandchildren to tell certain stories too… like we all had our own bit of the jigsaw.

I can still see her in my head standing in her front porch and watering her geraniums, or sitting in her big comfy chair, looking out to sea and attempting to do The Times crossword.

I have a huge admiration for Gran Nora, for surviving the German occupation of Guernsey with her faith intact and an unshakable belief in a good and loving God. For the fact that she would have missionaries to stay in her house on a regular basis which meant we got to meet some interesting people, for the fact that she prayed for her family every day.

I wish she was still around, and I wish she’d had the chance to meet The Mister. She would have loved him. I know she would.

I still miss her so much.

DISCLAIMER…. I THOUGHT I HAD PUBLISHED THIS ON DECEMBER 30th BUT IT WOULD SEEM I HAD JUST SAVED IT… SO BETTER LATE THAN NEVER!

On our last day in Guernsey The Mister and I went for a walk with my parents. Unusually my Dad decided to get off his backside and come with us, and we went walking near his childhood home. It is the most stunning bit of coast, but the nicest thing about it was that as we walked Dad talked about the people who had lived in the houses we walked past and the things he did as a child, like scrambling down the cliffs with his father to go ormering. We also took a detour on the way home to visit his mother’s grave as I had never been. A lovely walk to end a lovely Christmas holiday… I have to admit that I am pleased to be home though!!

Today has been very much the end of an era. Gran Nora’s house has gone through and for the first time in well over half a century it no longer belongs to the family. What I hadn’t realised was that in Guernsey is it quite a formal procedure and my Mum, aunts, uncle and my cousins (the children of my Uncle Steve who died) all had to go to the Royal Court in order for the paperwork to be completed.

It’s quite a strange feeling because I have so many happy memories tied into this house. When we were kids it was the most amazing place to play hide and seek because there were so many hiding places. Many hours were spent sitting on the wall around the front of the property, watching the world go by or all the cousins swimming down at the gully by the Lion Rock below. So many photos have been taken with people sitting on this wall! I have fond memories of sitting in front of the TV with my lovely grandpa, watching Playschool and podding peas. In later years, when Gran was much more frail she could often be found sitting in her favourite seat in the window from where she could see all arrivals to the front door, as well as look at the wonderful sea view. So many memories tied up in one place.

The thought of the house belonging to another family is hard, and yet no-one in the family could take it on because it needed so much work doing to it. Also, I am not sure that it would have been the right thing to do. Manora was, and is, part of our history; where we have come from and the experiences there have helped to shape us into the vibrant and strong family that we are today. Today we have to move on, however painful and difficult that is, and we have to shape a different future, without Gran Nora, but still with the rest of us to carry on what she started. That has to be something to look forward to.