Tag Archives: grief

2012 Project365 (Day 200)

Picture 026My 200th post!!

This is a photograph of Gran Nora and my Uncle Stephen on the day he graduated with an Open University qualification in Social Work. Really, this post should have been yesterday but a) I forgot, and b) I wanted my 200th post to be special.

Uncle Steve died in 2000 from cancer. He is very sorely missed by his wife and children but also his extended family. He was a brilliant guy who headed up the Children’s Services in Guernsey for a while and was well-liked in work. At home he was a little bit bonkers and was known for his sheds – he seemed to have several. On one particular day he ordered a delivery of concrete so that he could concrete his new shed. Sadly he had miscalculated and when the lorry started pouring this concrete into the base of the shed he realised that he had somewhat overestimated. I remember him shovelling half-set concrete out onto the gravel driveway. It looks like an elephant had left giant turds all up the driveway!

I also remember him setting up a long bit of plastic at the top of the slope in his garden and then covering it with washing up liquid and putting the hose running at the top. We then spent a happy afternoon sliding down the slope. It would have been a nice clean event had he not recently mowed the lawn so when you rolled off the polythene at the end you also got covered in grass clippings. Those are the things I remember best.

Yesterday was the 12th anniversary of his death. We still miss him and I often wonder how much richer our lives would be were he still with us.

Grandpa’s funeral

Today has been a wonderful day, which might seem a little strange as it has been Grandpa’s funeral. However, this has been a chance for us to celebrate the life of a truly extraordinary man who has influenced all our lives.

We started with the interment, which was great as it kind of got the really visibly sad bit out of the way, before moving onto church for a thanksgiving service. Grandma had chosen a gorgeous white cross with red roses as the floral tribute. Mum told me that it was symbolic. The three red roses in the middle represented Grandpa, his first wife Grandma Anita and his second wife Grandma Mary. The four red roses in each corner of the cross represent the four children. I thought that was lovely!

Grandpa had chosen all his own readings and his hymns which wereOh, for a Thousand Tongues to Sing, Jesus, Thy Blood and Righteousness, Jesus, the Name High Over All and How Sweet the Name of Jesus Sounds. The singing was magnificent and it was so nice to hear these lovely hymns sung properly. My Uncle John gave a lovely tribute to Grandpa and I learnt lots of things I didn’t know already. I knew that Grandma and Grandpa had lots of missionaries to stay, but I hadn’t realised that one of them was Gladys Aylward which I thought was quite cool. Grandpa was very committed to supporting people who were serving God overseas, as well as being a founding member of the The Gideons. It was a very lovely tribute, and very fitting. My cousin Tim also read the following poem, which Grandpa gave out to everyone he could…

I Met God in the Morning by Ralph Cushman

I met God in the morning
When my day was at its best.
And his presence came like sunrise:
Like a glory in my breast.
All day long the presence lingered,
All day long he stayed with me;
And we sailed in perfect calmness
O’er very troubled sea.
Other ships were blown and battered,
Other ships were sore distressed;
But the winds that seemed to drive them,
Brought to us rest and peace.
Then I thought of other mornings
With a keen remorse of mind,
When I too had loosed the moorings:
With the presence left behind.
So I think I know the secret
Learned from nay a troubled way:
You must seek him in the morning
If you want him through the day.

I met God in the morning
when the world was still.
I met God in the morning
when I sought his will.
I met God in the morning
when I knelt to pray.
I met God in the morning
and he stayed with me all day.

After the service we went to Les Cotils for afternoon tea. It was lovely that so many people came and the food was fantastic. It was also rather convenient as this is where we are going to have our wedding reception so I got to test out the food, as well as have a little look around the place.

So, all in all, a sad day, but not a really sad day. It was good to celebrate the life of my lovely Grandpa, but as we say in Guernsey patois, a la perchoine… which means until we meet again because I am very, very sure that we will meet again in heaven.

So, here are a few photos for you to peruse (there are a few more on Flickr if you want to click through from one of these pictures)…


RIP Grandpa


My Mum phoned me this morning to tell me that my lovely Grandpa had died peacefully in the early hours of the morning. He had been deteriorating for some time, really since this photo was taken at my Dad’s 60th birthday party a couple of years ago, and he was in a nursing home now.

Grandpa was an amazing man. He told terrible jokes… for example whenever you asked him if he was well he would always reply “You can never be too well” or if you asked him if he was alright he would reply “No, I’m half left”. He had a beautiful wide smile that greeted you every time you walked in the room and his smile always reached his eyes.

He certainly didn’t have an easy life. His first wife Grandma Anita died of breast cancer when my Dad was 19. He then went onto marry Grandma Mary and today would have been their 40th wedding anniversary. They exchanged their gifts just two days ago, and today Grandpa went to be with Jesus. Grandpa was also a Gideon, and I blogged about that here. His faithfulness in talking to people about Jesus was unwavering, and even when in hospital he always had a Gideon Testament ready to give out if he was able to. Such faith, and such conviction.

Every time I went home over the last year I said my goodbyes to him. I always knew that it could, and at some point would, be the last time I could say my goodbyes to him. He prayed for us regularly and I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that Grandpa loved me passionately. I also know, beyond anything else, that Grandpa is where he most wanted to be. Safe with his beloved Saviour. The one in whom he has put his trust for 90+ years and the one to whom he was continually running, even when he couldn’t get out of his bed.

He kept this little poem in his bible and i think it sums him up perfectly.

From My Heart

I’ve known the Master for many years
And I’ve tried him o’er and o’er,
Honest I can tell you know
I truly love Him more and more
With every passing year.

Nobody loves you like Jesus loves
Nobody cares like He cares.
You’ll never have a truer friend:
He died that you might live again.

He will bring peace to your troubled heart,
Comfort from every pain.
He will bring you joy like you’ve never known.
So trust Him and you will have life again.
Make Jesus your very own.

So, a la perchoine Grandpa. I love you and I know that you are now resting where you have always wanted to be. xxx