Tag Archives: marriage

2013 Project365 (Day 93)

Happy AnniversaryToday The Mister and I celebrated our third wedding anniversary with a trip to the soft play centre. It’s not exactly the most romantic place in the world but hey ho!

Three years ago was one of the best days of my life, only equalled by the birth of my beautiful son.

Being married to the right person is so important and I like to think that The Mister and I complement each other, even though we are so very different. My post from last year talks about the fact that I feel very lucky and that hasn’t changed, in fact I feel even more strongly about that now.

We are lucky and life is good.

So, My lovely Mister, I love you so much and here’s to many more year to come xxx

(I know the photo is odd because it looks like my arms have been dislocated but this is the only picture we have of the two of us which was taken today!)

6 months!

Well today is our 6 month wedding anniversary. Time has absolutely flown by and it seems only yesterday that we were planning our wedding. Those 6 months have been full of laughter and I have discovered that I am quite good at being married! The Mister is amazing and he makes me feel so safe, secure, loved, and he even makes me feel beautiful (even when I am definitely not feeling like that!) I am happier now than I ever have been and that is definitely due in part to the fact that I feel settled. Lots of people would look at our relationship and wonder how it works. I am loud, The Mister is quiet, but we seem to compliment each other perfectly. I guess that’s what it is all about… finding someone who makes you into a better person than you can be alone. The Mister smooths off some of my rough edges, and he goes a long way to making me a nicer person. Not a different person, just nicer!

So, Mister. I love you, and thankyou for being my husband!

4801-109
4801-146

Quick update

The Mister and I have had such a busy few days. Final wedding preparations, a hen do, lots of people to see and pick up form airports and a little bit of walking on the beach. It has been good to see both our families and catch up with friends, but it is very strange to have them in all the same place!

I still can’t believe we actually get married tomorrow. In some ways it feels like months in the planning, but in other ways it has crept up on us so fast! The Mister is staying at the reception venue tonight and I am at my parent’s house. I think we are both feeling much more nervous now we are apart and the poor Mister was asked by both my parents separately whether he was definitely going to turn up! Bless him!

Anyway, here are a quick few pics from the last few days. Next time I come back here I will be a married woman. I will put up some pics of the wedding as soon as possible!

P1030060P1030105
P1030078P1030093

P1030102
P1030104

Sometimes it’s hard to be a woman

Er... what? Dave Warnock helpfully linked to Becki’s blog which made some commentary on the ‘women’s seminars’ at Together with a Mission, the Newfrontiers Conference. The woman who writes this blog comments that…

“I think that’s what modern feminism teaches, that we can have it all – that by giving women loads of life choices, society liberates them. I actually think the reverse is true. A society that tells women they can do everything forces them to strive to be the best mother, wife, employee, and housewife that she can be, which leaves women stressed and trapped. I think I’d got myself into this mindset.”

What Becki is commenting on above is not feminism… it is putting women into a box that has been created for them by men (NB. please note I am specifically talking about men in these sorts of churches). It is confining and squeezing women to a role that men think is appropriate and suitable for their gender. That is not feminism.

My favourite quote about feminism is by Rebecca West, and it says,

“I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat, or a prostitute.”

Dave’s comment on Becki’s musings are,

“In my experience Christian feminist thinking is actually freeing for women and men. It sets us free from stereotypes that may not fit and free from rigid expectations, free to be the people that we are created to be. Free to work out our relationships in ways that are appropriate for our personalities, preferences and abilities.”

The Pieta My experience of Becki’s version of “Newfrontiers feminism” is that I was made to feel inferior. I was made to feel inferior by the fact that I was not married by the age of 21 and I had not popped out a quiver full of children by the time I was 25.

I was made to feel substandard by the fact that I was (and am to this day) a questioning, curious, open-minded WOMAN who was truly passionate about the minorities and the broken-hearted; those for whom the church does not necessarily have an answer. Those who are rejected by the church on the basis of their sexuality, gender and identity of romantic choice of partner.

Instead of freeing women up to be creative and dynamic people these churches squeeze women into a ‘gender-appropriate’ role, limiting them to the expectations of the leadership, and not necessarily releasing them into fulfillment of who God has called them to be.

The reality is that many of the women I read about in the bible were not limited by their gender; they were truly counter-cultural. I think of people like Queen Esther, Rahab, Mary the mother of Jesus, Mary Magdalene, Ruth, Deborah, Lydia, the woman at the well and Abigail. I could go on, but these were all women who shaped biblical history, who in one way or the other made choices that would mark them down as women of great faith.

I don’t see a God who limited his future into one shaped like a man, only choosing men to do his works. Instead I see a God who truly delighted in the women in the Bible… who saw them and their destinies before the world began and, I believe, actively made choices to choose women to fulfill his story. So, it is this God that I choose to lay my hope in.

I am feeling…

… a bit flat. I am OK just generally feeling a bit pissed off and fed-up. Once again I keep finding out about people getting married and being pregnant etc. Whenever I hear about these joyous occasions I usually wonder ‘why not me?’, ‘when’s my turn?’ and ‘what’s the matter with me?’ All things I can’t really answer.